Hot and Sticky Memories

It was Indonesia weather today. Hot, sticky, sweaty, humid, nearly 100 degrees... Brought back memories of sweaty kids singing, laughing, staring, hugging. Funny, that's not so different than the memories I have from today. Only the kids in todays' memories speak the same language as I do. If only I could remember to love my everyday kids the same as I did those far away kids. I mean, everyday kind of love, with hugs and kisses everyday. Like today, I loved them. But sometimes I am grouchy or don't want to hear screaming or fighting children. Sometimes I want quiet, well behaved, perfect children. It is those days when they are not that teach me.

Sigh... Anyways, this day brought me back to sitting in a crowded room, far, far away from my home with masses of children singing in a foreign language praises to Jesus, staring at the Americans, anxiously waiting for a reaction from one of us. Sweet, sweet memories.

Josh still is asking to go to Indonesia. Last night he asked his Daddy if he also wanted to go to Indonesia to see Viki (our newest sponsor child). I tell Josh to ask God if he wants to go. Maybe someday he really will, only God knows.

Hooray!

I finally got him! I had to wait while his packet was transfered from the Canadian office to the US office. I've only been waiting for, like, forever!!! His name is Anjelo, though his family calls him Viki (pronounced Feeky). He turned four in April. I am rather excited to receive his child packet in the mail so we can send him his first letter and a photo of us together. Josh has only wanted a friend from Indonesia for almost three months now and I am so hoping that as the two of them grow older, that they can write to each other. I have such a different picture of his life in my head than my other sponsor children, because I have actually been to his home and met his parents. He's the youngest child that I have ever sponsored and I know he's not even in school yet, but he is already benefiting from the local Compassion program. Compassion International allows Christians from across the world to get involved in a childs' life, and help them overcome poverty by introducing the child to Jesus Christ. Not only do they teach children about our Savior, Jesus Christ, but they also help them with schooling, skill development and nutritional needs. I am grateful to God for allowing us to make a difference in a child's life from across the globe.

Sponsor your own child through Compassion International, releasing children from poverty in Jesus' name.

Little Faces

This is my 600th post!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoa!


The following is an excerpt from a letter I wrote two weeks ago.

Today I have little faces in my head, but these are far away faces. Little boys and girls that I must give to Jesus. Deep brown eyes that stared into mine from outside our bus. A dirty face and a dirty green cap, bare feet and worn clothes on his young back. Not looking for my pity, but looking none-the-less. Sack over his shoulder, working to feed his own mouth and who knows how many more. A boy of, how old? Maybe 11? But his eyes wore so many more years...

Add on a few days of my life and add another set of dark brown eyes. She's watching me wave goodbye. Her dark hair cropped chin length. She's waving at me now. I am in the bus and she, outside. I see her eyes, welling with tears, and she quickly wipes them away. I turn away to choke back my tears. Why does my soul rise up within me with such emotion?

Yet bear with me once more, for this one time will always be etched into my memory, filled with pain and regret. Why each memory finds me inside the bus and unable to wrap my arms around their shoulders, taunting me in my helplessness? Perhaps it is because I must learn that it is not I who can help, but only pour Lord. Only our Lord can now soften the blows of the sticks upon his head as he crouched in the alleyway, knees tucked to his chin. Why were those other boys so cruel? Why did I not holler "STOP" to the bus driver and rescue the young boy from his torture? Why did I only look on in horror as he was beaten mercilessly? Today he is again on my mind, and I lift him up to our Savior. I am no longer there to witness his beatings and the possibility of me being his rescuer is a moot point. My God sees. He knows his need. He knows if the beatings are often and repeated. He also knows what would've happened if we had tried to rescue him from the cruel hands of his peers. *Sigh* And so I give the faces to Jesus. The Lover of our souls. The nameless faces. But He knows them by name.

Today is another day. God sees the children on the other side of the world and He sees the ones who live next door. He loves them more than I ever could. He cares for their needs. And I will trust Him.

Sponsor a child today through Compassion International.

Dirty Little Hands

Their brown eyes watched us where ever we went. Curiosity. Eager eyes looking for some indication that we might acknowledge their presence. Little boys and girls. Waiting for a wink or a slight smile from us. We could've been their sponsors and they knew we came with love to share on their sponsors' behalf. I know I couldn't keep myself from getting down on their level and loving on them. They would gather around and wonder what this blonde girl was going to do next. I made faces at them, laughed with them, drew in the dirt for them and tried my best to communicate with them despite our language barrier. Their eyes laughed at my silly antics and their giggles made me laugh out loud. It was pure bliss. Dirty little hands grasped mine and as long as I was not afraid of sitting in the dirt, they would scootch their little bodies close to mine. The days were never long enough and the time to say good-bye always came too soon. Each one of us, old and young, big and little, squeezed in as many last minute good-byes as we could. Kisses were blown through car windows and hands waved wildly as we drove away. We left with our hearts full each time. And I pray their young hearts were full as well, full and overflowing with the love of Jesus.

I...

I traveled to the other side of the world. I hugged children I had never before met. I witnessed the craziest traffic I had ever seen. I was mistaken for Brittany Spears, just because I was blonde. I was awoken every morning by the blaring horns of the Muslim Call to Prayer. I was kissed by the sweetest 17 year old girl in the world. I was moved. I was inspired. I was broken. I was changed forever. I was touched by the love of Jesus. I am still processing.

Sending Love

I am signing in from the Hotel Business center. Facebook is blocked, so this is howI am saying hi to my family for tonight. We went to a child center today. If we weren't paying for internet by minutes, I would write more about it, but it was amazing. Adam, I loooove you. Give Josh hugs and kisses and tell him Mommy sends him kisses from far, far away in Indonesia. The drivers in Medan are crazy. Pray we stay healthy with all the exposure to germs. (Telling myself they don't exist.) Got to go.... Love to all. xoxoxox

The Time Has Come

The time has nearly arrived. I can feel my stomach tensing. On my last flight, the combination of excitement/anxiety and the change in pressure while we were flying was too much for my stomach. I was so bloated and in pain, I really just wanted to lie on the floor in order to find some relief. I prayed that God would help me and curled my legs up onto the seat. My back twinged as the muscles by my neck tightened and I reached up to massage where the muscle hurt. Moments after I began massaging my neck, my stomach seemed to relax slightly and the pain lessened. I wondered if I had found a pressure point... The rest of the flight I struggled to find a comfortable position in which to sleep. The tiny pillow which my Mom had sent along was of great assistance as I turned my head this way and that. I stuck the pillow between my head and my shoulder, I held it in front of me, and I found myself wishing that I was as comfortable with leaning my head on someones' shoulder as the military man was next to me. The young man had arranged his head very comfortable on the young woman's shoulder in the next seat over, not too much more than a half hour into our flight. He slept in a what seemed solid sleep until we arrived in LA. I was told by a military friend of ours the next day that, when you are in the military, you lose all sense of what is the "socially accepted norm". Perhaps that is why he was so comfortable sleeping on her shoulder, but at that point in time, I was slightly jealous that I am of a more reserved nature. I maybe was able to catch a half-hours worth of "winks" and arrived in LA at 1:30 EST. I was exhausted,but eager to meet my hosts for the night. As I entered the lobby, I quickly scanned the crowd and saw no familiar faces. I turned toward the baggage claim and peeked back over my shoulder toward the group of people waiting for their loved ones. It was then I saw her. She stood up and held a sign that read "Welcome Bethany". I grinned and headed for the couple who had so willingly come to pick me up and open their home to me. We exchanged a friendly hug and I knew that this was going to be a good visit.

A couple specific prayer requests for the next couple weeks.

~For my stomach during the long flight overseas.

~For safety traveling and the health of our whole group.

~The we would be a blessing to the children at the centers and to our sponsored kids.

~Language difficulties.

~That the Holy Spirit would overflow from our lives to those we meet.

~For God-given opportunities to witness and to minister to those around us.

A Blessing

What a wonderful Californian day! I have been so blessed by the Lord to have such hospitable hosts for the day. Wanda and Don have been so kind to open their home to me, a strange girl from New York and allow me to stay here, in their home. Wanda is an inspiration: a good cook, a wonderful house keeper, and a kind wife. She has the gift of hospitality. I like her and I am grateful for their kindness to me. When I initially booked my flight to LA, I was left wondering who I would stay with between my arrival and when I leave for Indonesia. God has filled the gap and left me feeling blessed for His intervention. You see, I had never met Wanda or Don, but my Mother met her while blogging and they have been blog friends for just over three years. My Mom mentioned my brief visit to LA and Wanda was more than happy to open their house to me if I was fine with sleeping on a couch and using a small bathroom... I could not refuse. God is good.

So... I'll be keeping in touch. My love to all!

Preparation and Protection

The countdown is on... 12 days before I fly out of NY. Fourteen days before I leave the country. I have been practicing my Bahasa Indonesia and at the moment I can count to ten. Lets see if I still remember how tomorrow...

Satu, dua, tiga, empat, lima, enam, tujuh, delapan, sembilan, sepuluh... And nol is zero.

Putih is white. Merah is red. Biru is blue. Can you guess what hitam is?

I am trying my best to avoid stress. You may think I am extraordinarily premature, but I started gathering items for packing tonight. I have realized that I am very prone to stressing out, and I am trying to prevent any last minute anxiety attacks. I put things into Ziploc bags and wrote down what was in each bag. I packed the bag of things I had for Ayu. I am trying to be prepared.

And although I am beginning the packing process, I am still feeling pressure in a different aspect. (Though it has been better today.) I covet your prayers in these upcoming weeks, and would like to you to pray against spiritual attack. I feel like the devil is trying to steal my joy away and make me overly concerned with leaving Joshua. Strep throat has been rampant at daycare this week, and all week long I had/have been paranoid that Josh has it too, but the symptoms are just hiding. I mostly was worried because he broke out with a rash on his face Tuesday (though it went away after his afternoon snooze) and my sister had also had strep, without any of the typical symptoms. So the Mom in me was afraid he had it too, and it would hide in there until he would be so, so sick. Then my other paranoia was that Josh would spend all his days and evenings while I was gone watching cartoons and that he would turn into a cranky monster. Then I would come home to a miserable boy who didn't care what his Mommy said. Isn't that horrible?!? I really know that Adam would not let Josh watch TV ALL the time and that other people are perfectly capable (kinda...) of taking care of my boy while I am away... But it is like I said, someone is trying to steal my joy and make me nervous about leaving. I know God has prepared all the details and He is sending me to Indonesia, I have no doubt about that. And Satan will try to use means to distract me and keep me from spending the time I need to with the Lord. He wants me to be worried. Worried! He likes when Christians are worried! So I covet your much needed prayers. I need a wall of protection around me in these up coming weeks, to guard against attacks. And if you could pray for my family too. That they would be healthy and safe. How much we do need Jesus.

Thank you Lord Jesus, that You are our protector and that You love us! Please guard my heart and mind and keep my family from danger. Keep me close to You and trusting in You. Amen!

30 Days To Go

City		Current	Wind	Humidity	High	Low
Jakarta		75°F	0 mph	97%	84°F	76°F
Surabaya		78°F	4 mph WSW	86%	84°F	77°F
Medan		81°F	6 mph WSW	74%	90°F	75°F
Bekasi		75°F	0 mph	97%	84°F	76°F
Bandung		68°F	0 mph	96%	79°F	67°F

Oh. My. Word. I just realized that I have less than one month before I leave for Indonesia. My heart just started to beat a little faster. Really, I did "know" that I hit the one month mark yesterday, but I just now started to panic. How will I be ready? What does ready mean? What do I really have left to do? The Lord has totally provided me with someone to stay with in California, as I fly there a day and a half before we leave the country. You have no idea what kind of weight that is off my shoulders. I knew God would provide, but I was still concerned. My Mom's friend Wanda is willing to pick me up at the airport and drop me off before we leave. And she is letting me stay at her house. (And I have never really met her face to face before.) Praise the Lord for a willing heart! I am going to Passport Health on Friday, where I hopefully will not have to have many immunizations. Immunizations give me the "heebie-jeebies". I guess all that I really have left is to gather what I would like to bring my sponsor child, though she's hardly a child anymore. I'm not sure what she likes or what she needs and I suppose I should be praying about what I could bring that would bless her. Oh, and I need to find out what the weather is like in Indonesia this time of year. I guess that would be helpful. There, I just found out. It is humid and in the lower 80's. And raining, just like my dream the other night. But I am sure they don't all speak English like in my dream... Too bad. Ooo, I need to find a good Bahasa Indonesia dictionary. Oh dear... I wish I was more multi-lingual. :( The countdown begins. 30 days to go.

A New Language to Learn

I've been contemplating language today. Yesterday I went to the mall with a friend and stopped by the Rosetta Stone kiosk just for kicks. They allow you to "sample" their program right there, and I asked about Bahasa Indonesia. I was able to learn (and remember) a couple new words in just a few minutes, including "laki-laki" and "wanita" meaning boy and woman. I've heard great things about Rosetta Stone's program and have been tempted to purchase the Spanish program before. But now, since I am going to Indonesia and know only three (now five) words in their language, and since it's said that you can pick up a language very quickly using that program, I am very tempted to get it. There is now less than two months before I go... A quick overview of what I need to do before hand:

• call Passport Health
• get vaccinated/get malaria medicine
  
• collect craft supplies and items to be donated to the centers that we visit
• decide what sort of gifts I want to bring to my sponsor child and her family
• learn more words
  
• find out who I am staying with in LA the day before our flight leaves.

The last item I am really not sure what to do about, especially since one never knows what the weather will do in February. I purposely bought my ticket to LA for a day and a half early, in case the weather didn't cooperate. We know two people who live close to LA, but I'm not sure who I will end up staying with or if I'll even need to stay with anyone (depending on the weather). So I would appreciate your prayers these next two months. For peace, sanity, God's leading, wisdom, and that I wouldn't leave everything till the last minute, which I am known for. This causes me to have nervous breakdowns... Yoikes!

Told To Go

Today is a thankful day. As of late I have especially felt blessed by our God. Why does the Creator of the Universe take the time to move in my life and work in ways to bless me? Why does He take the time to speak to me through His Word? These are questions that I cannot answer, but I know that He does do these things and I know that I feel blessed and loved. Very loved.

Back in July, I was asked by a girl when I was coming to see her. At that time, I knew it was out of the question, because she lives on the other side of the world and the cost of getting there was way beyond affordable. But I told her to pray, and if God wanted me to come, He would do the rest. My friend didn't know that a "Sponsor Tour" had been planned for her country or that the deadline for the initial deposit was only weeks away. I felt the tug of my heart, and I started to pray and fast about going to see her, even though I was sure it was an impossibility. As I was fasting, God gave me this scripture:

Matthew 12:39b "...no sign shall be given to it except the sign of Jonah." (At this point in time, the deadline for the deposit was ten days away.)

I was like, "Okay Lord... What does that mean?" Do you remember what God told Jonah to do? He told Jonah to "Go to Ninevah." Wow... Was that it Lord? Being unsure, I mentioned the scripture to my Dad, and getting an unfavorable response, I began to question the scripture and my interpretation. This was ridiculous. Did I really think God was saying to go? Ridiculous. I told the Lord, "If You want me to go, You are going to have to very clearly tell me again." Four days later I was again reading in Matthew. Chapter 16, verse 4b:

"No sign shall be given to it except the sign of Jonah."

Are You serious Lord? Do you know how many times God had to tell Jonah to go to Ninevah? I read the book of Jonah to see what God had really told Jonah. God had told him, not once, but twice to "Go to Ninevah." But I, being simple-minded and still not entirely sure if God really meant what He was telling me, was still doubtful. "Do You mean it Lord?" It was Sunday morning and we went off to church and questions were rolling in my mind. Would you ever begin to guess who was mentioned during the sermon that morning? None other than Jonah... God, this is hilarious! Are You for real? For the next day and a half, my mind was reeling. Monday evening, my family and I go to the nursing home for a Bible study time. As we were headed there, I sat in the back of my parent's van with my brother. Ben and I don't typically sit next to each other when we are in the same vehicle. (Nothing against him, I just usually sit next to Hannah.) And can you guess who Ben started talking about? I don't remember our exact conversation, but he is the one who brought up Jonah. I could deny it no longer. The Lord was speaking to me. And He was so patient not to say it once, not twice or even three times. But four. And He gave me no other sign than Jonah.

So after God had convinced me, then came the next test. This was a real test. The clincher. The part of the test that I was sure I wouldn't pass. I had to ask Adam. (There were now four days until the deposit deadline.) I tried to calm my nerves and cleared my throat. I said something like this, "Adam, there is a Sponsor Tour to Indonesia in February and I have been praying about going. Do you think I could go?" He had known thoughts had been rolling around in my mind about going, but we hadn't really discussed it, mostly because I was sure it was out of the question. With out hesitation (a miracle in itself), he replied. "You work hard around here, you can go." I think trumpets were sounding somewhere!! And I know that it was a God influenced decision, because a month or two later, Adam admitted that his head was not screwed on right when he gave his permission. If he had been in his right mind, he would have said no. Watching our savings account drain down to nothing was torture for him, and yet I remained confident that God would provide. After all, If God had really told me to go, He was going to provide.

So, now I have to take leave because today is Thanksgiving and I need to make a side dish. Tasty-tasty.

"Pies in the Eyes"

It was a daunting figure, the cost to go to Indonesia. But when God told me to go, I stepped out in faith, not knowing where the money was going to come from. Adam sooo graciously allowed me to dip into our savings, but that only went so far and he expected me to eventually pay most of it back. The idea of selling baked goods at our local farm market had crossed my mind, but when I talked to the woman in charge, I found that there was quite a list of things I needed to have done, in order to be able to sell food to the public there. I was able to pick up an extra day of work at the restaurant, but that still wasn't going to cut it. I knew God had it all under control. He told me to trust Him, and I did. But Adam had begun to get nervous about the financial aspect of trip and was regretting that he gave me permission to go. Neither he or I had any idea how wonderfully God was going to provide. By mid-late September, I was still thinking about baked goods, specifically pies. Honestly, I had been thinking about pies in August because I had been freezing blueberries with the thought that maybe I could sell pies. I obtained permission from one of our pastor's at church to have a fundraiser there and sell my homemade pies. The first Sunday I took 12 pies, made by myself, my mom and my sister. They sold before second service and I went home with a few orders to fill. The next time I took 18 pies, apple and pumpkin. They also sold without a problem. I hung up a sign at the daycare where I work. People ordered. Mom and I filled orders. We made blueberry pies, apple pies, elderberry pies and three peach pies. I even made a squash pie on special request. I sold more pies at church and took orders for Thanksgiving. God has been so amazing. A friend of my Mom's donated blueberries when she couldn't buy a pie. I never would've guessed that selling pies would be the way God would choose to provide the financial means for the trip to Indonesia. Who would've guessed that years earlier, when my Mom taught me how to make a pie, that we'd make such a good pie-making team? I even love just getting together with my Mom and sister on those days we make pies. Yes, we are on our feet ALL day long, and we are exhausted at the days end, but it is such an enjoyable time together. We have thought about finding a worthy reason to raise money every fall because the three of us have such a nice time working together. I never would've thought that apple pies would get me to Indonesia, but God did. I'm glad He's on my team. Or rather, I'm glad I'm on His team.

I'm Going To...

Breaking radio silence. Going to let the information out. Going public. Ready? Here we go...
It's been hard to contain. Everyone else knows, so why not you too? This coming February I will be joining Compassion International and traveling to Indonesia with them. I sponsor a girl there and will have the awesome opportunity to meet her. She has been praying that I come see her and God has so amazingly been answering her prayers. More information will be given later. In the mean time, keep Indonesia and the area surrounding Mt. Merapi in your prayers. They are having a rough go of it with the volcano. My sponsor child lives two volcanos over from Mt. Merapi. I guess they were having "ash rain" where she lives.