Pulling My Heart Strings

They just tug at my heart strings. Knowing that one person, with the Lord's help, can make a difference in a young life, it's hard to stand by and do nothing. This Sunday three more children found sponsors and three more lives found new hope. I know that Compassion doesn't save children, but our God can use Compassion to save children. Our God can use you and I. I am baffled at how God chooses faulty and fallible people as a conduit of His love. Tonight I shared with Joshua how his Grammy is now sponsoring Fredik. This fact makes me so happy. Josh was so curious as to who Fredrik is and what he looked like. We talked about how Fredrik lives in Africa and how he has black skin, which inspired a conversation about how the people in the world all look different, and how God loves all of us. By the end of our conversation, Josh decided that he wants to go see Fredrik, in addition to visiting Viki, our other sponsor child from Indonesia. I love his young, innocent heart that loves without question and believes the impossible. No wonder the Lord says to have faith like a little child. (Luke 18:17) Anyway, I still have 19 more child packets for children who are waiting for a sponsor of their own. If you have been thinking or praying about sponsoring a child, I am more than happy to give you more information and let you look at the packets I have. I'll be sending them back to Compassion International later this week, so don't wait too long!

Or... you could sponsor Sintayehu by clicking here.

1 John 3:17-18 But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.

How to Realize You Are Just One Person

I know my last post made it seem like I wanted lots more to do, but maybe you need clarification. There is currently a LOT on my plate. I don't really need any more to do. But I do want to make more of a difference. I want the things that I do to impact lives for the better. To spread the Good News farther. To effect. To draw people to Christ, because in the end, He is all that really matters. I want my life to reflect that fact. And is busying myself by doing Bible Club, Compassion events, helping decorate for Vacation Bible School, cooking class at Daycare, and hostessing at the CK really reflecting Christ's love for those around me? Am I really able to be a conduit of His grace and mercy when my mind is occupied with thoughts of painting Western scenes, how to make styrofoam swords for defeating the throes of sin, finding sponsors for 22 needy children across the globe or teaching children how to make chocolate chip cookies? It's 12:30 at night and I can't sleep, probably from drinking coffee at 4:45 pm, but possibly from trying to keep everything straight in my brain. When does a girl possibly have time to keep her house clean, her garden free from weeds, to practice the piano more than twice a week so she doesn't feel like a fool come piano lesson day, work more than three days a week, make sure her family eats supper AND gets time to spend with her, AND read the Bible and pray every day? Thankfully the Lord has given me a little alarm clock named Louis, who scratches at my door at 5:15 every morning and finally I realized it was a call to rise early to read and pray, after it happened consistently for over two weeks. Also thankfully, if I get up that early, spend 30-40 minutes with the Lord, I still have time to go back to sleep before I really need to get up to get ready for work. What does God really want from me? Obedience more than sacrifice... How do I know which is which? What is He calling me to do and what have I just taken on because I wanted to? If I knew how to discern, I could pour myself more fully into what He has truly called me to do.

Okay Lord, what is it YOU would have me to do?

More?

My heart yearns to do more. Does everyone feel this way?

Read this post.

Eight is a Good Number

I have a "Praise the Lord" moment to share. Even without any presentation or announcement made from the pulpit, eight children were connected with sponsors today. The Lord is good. I still have 22 children who are waiting for sponsors in my possession and I will be praying over them, that the Lord will guide me as I seek sponsors for them. This past week, we had prayed that the Lord would be working in people's hearts even before they came to church and I saw our answers to prayer today. Several people said they had been thinking about doing something like this, one had just received a promotion at work, and one, a girl in high school, said she had always wanted to sponsor a child. So praise the Lord! Eight children... Finding hope in the Lord and love from half a world away.

*Sponsor Fredrik today by clicking here.*

Lord, Help My Unbelief!

Tomorrow I am running a Compassion "event" at church. I was given permission to have a table with child packets and information about sponsoring children through Compassion International. When I registered with Compassion, I was asked how many people go to my church and I put down 301-500. I received my box of information last week and was overwhelmed with the number of child packets they sent me. (Child packets are children waiting for sponsors.) There were 30 packets from all over the world, each little face staring at me from the page. I think my heart started pounding a little faster and a little harder as my nerves wound tight... "How am I supposed to find sponsors for so many kids?" Forgive me Lord, for thinking it is my responsibility, for forgetting that is You who provides, who draws hearts and holds all things in Your hands. I am just the facilitator. Where is my faith? A friend who prayed with me over these kids the other day, prayed that there would not be enough child packets to supply the demand come Sunday after church. I need more faith like that. Would you pray with me over these 30 kids, that the Lord would provide for them, and maybe that they could be sponsored tomorrow? Would the Lord open your heart to them as well?

Hooray!

I finally got him! I had to wait while his packet was transfered from the Canadian office to the US office. I've only been waiting for, like, forever!!! His name is Anjelo, though his family calls him Viki (pronounced Feeky). He turned four in April. I am rather excited to receive his child packet in the mail so we can send him his first letter and a photo of us together. Josh has only wanted a friend from Indonesia for almost three months now and I am so hoping that as the two of them grow older, that they can write to each other. I have such a different picture of his life in my head than my other sponsor children, because I have actually been to his home and met his parents. He's the youngest child that I have ever sponsored and I know he's not even in school yet, but he is already benefiting from the local Compassion program. Compassion International allows Christians from across the world to get involved in a childs' life, and help them overcome poverty by introducing the child to Jesus Christ. Not only do they teach children about our Savior, Jesus Christ, but they also help them with schooling, skill development and nutritional needs. I am grateful to God for allowing us to make a difference in a child's life from across the globe.

Sponsor your own child through Compassion International, releasing children from poverty in Jesus' name.

Little Faces

This is my 600th post!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoa!


The following is an excerpt from a letter I wrote two weeks ago.

Today I have little faces in my head, but these are far away faces. Little boys and girls that I must give to Jesus. Deep brown eyes that stared into mine from outside our bus. A dirty face and a dirty green cap, bare feet and worn clothes on his young back. Not looking for my pity, but looking none-the-less. Sack over his shoulder, working to feed his own mouth and who knows how many more. A boy of, how old? Maybe 11? But his eyes wore so many more years...

Add on a few days of my life and add another set of dark brown eyes. She's watching me wave goodbye. Her dark hair cropped chin length. She's waving at me now. I am in the bus and she, outside. I see her eyes, welling with tears, and she quickly wipes them away. I turn away to choke back my tears. Why does my soul rise up within me with such emotion?

Yet bear with me once more, for this one time will always be etched into my memory, filled with pain and regret. Why each memory finds me inside the bus and unable to wrap my arms around their shoulders, taunting me in my helplessness? Perhaps it is because I must learn that it is not I who can help, but only pour Lord. Only our Lord can now soften the blows of the sticks upon his head as he crouched in the alleyway, knees tucked to his chin. Why were those other boys so cruel? Why did I not holler "STOP" to the bus driver and rescue the young boy from his torture? Why did I only look on in horror as he was beaten mercilessly? Today he is again on my mind, and I lift him up to our Savior. I am no longer there to witness his beatings and the possibility of me being his rescuer is a moot point. My God sees. He knows his need. He knows if the beatings are often and repeated. He also knows what would've happened if we had tried to rescue him from the cruel hands of his peers. *Sigh* And so I give the faces to Jesus. The Lover of our souls. The nameless faces. But He knows them by name.

Today is another day. God sees the children on the other side of the world and He sees the ones who live next door. He loves them more than I ever could. He cares for their needs. And I will trust Him.

Sponsor a child today through Compassion International.

Dirty Little Hands

Their brown eyes watched us where ever we went. Curiosity. Eager eyes looking for some indication that we might acknowledge their presence. Little boys and girls. Waiting for a wink or a slight smile from us. We could've been their sponsors and they knew we came with love to share on their sponsors' behalf. I know I couldn't keep myself from getting down on their level and loving on them. They would gather around and wonder what this blonde girl was going to do next. I made faces at them, laughed with them, drew in the dirt for them and tried my best to communicate with them despite our language barrier. Their eyes laughed at my silly antics and their giggles made me laugh out loud. It was pure bliss. Dirty little hands grasped mine and as long as I was not afraid of sitting in the dirt, they would scootch their little bodies close to mine. The days were never long enough and the time to say good-bye always came too soon. Each one of us, old and young, big and little, squeezed in as many last minute good-byes as we could. Kisses were blown through car windows and hands waved wildly as we drove away. We left with our hearts full each time. And I pray their young hearts were full as well, full and overflowing with the love of Jesus.

I...

I traveled to the other side of the world. I hugged children I had never before met. I witnessed the craziest traffic I had ever seen. I was mistaken for Brittany Spears, just because I was blonde. I was awoken every morning by the blaring horns of the Muslim Call to Prayer. I was kissed by the sweetest 17 year old girl in the world. I was moved. I was inspired. I was broken. I was changed forever. I was touched by the love of Jesus. I am still processing.

Told To Go

Today is a thankful day. As of late I have especially felt blessed by our God. Why does the Creator of the Universe take the time to move in my life and work in ways to bless me? Why does He take the time to speak to me through His Word? These are questions that I cannot answer, but I know that He does do these things and I know that I feel blessed and loved. Very loved.

Back in July, I was asked by a girl when I was coming to see her. At that time, I knew it was out of the question, because she lives on the other side of the world and the cost of getting there was way beyond affordable. But I told her to pray, and if God wanted me to come, He would do the rest. My friend didn't know that a "Sponsor Tour" had been planned for her country or that the deadline for the initial deposit was only weeks away. I felt the tug of my heart, and I started to pray and fast about going to see her, even though I was sure it was an impossibility. As I was fasting, God gave me this scripture:

Matthew 12:39b "...no sign shall be given to it except the sign of Jonah." (At this point in time, the deadline for the deposit was ten days away.)

I was like, "Okay Lord... What does that mean?" Do you remember what God told Jonah to do? He told Jonah to "Go to Ninevah." Wow... Was that it Lord? Being unsure, I mentioned the scripture to my Dad, and getting an unfavorable response, I began to question the scripture and my interpretation. This was ridiculous. Did I really think God was saying to go? Ridiculous. I told the Lord, "If You want me to go, You are going to have to very clearly tell me again." Four days later I was again reading in Matthew. Chapter 16, verse 4b:

"No sign shall be given to it except the sign of Jonah."

Are You serious Lord? Do you know how many times God had to tell Jonah to go to Ninevah? I read the book of Jonah to see what God had really told Jonah. God had told him, not once, but twice to "Go to Ninevah." But I, being simple-minded and still not entirely sure if God really meant what He was telling me, was still doubtful. "Do You mean it Lord?" It was Sunday morning and we went off to church and questions were rolling in my mind. Would you ever begin to guess who was mentioned during the sermon that morning? None other than Jonah... God, this is hilarious! Are You for real? For the next day and a half, my mind was reeling. Monday evening, my family and I go to the nursing home for a Bible study time. As we were headed there, I sat in the back of my parent's van with my brother. Ben and I don't typically sit next to each other when we are in the same vehicle. (Nothing against him, I just usually sit next to Hannah.) And can you guess who Ben started talking about? I don't remember our exact conversation, but he is the one who brought up Jonah. I could deny it no longer. The Lord was speaking to me. And He was so patient not to say it once, not twice or even three times. But four. And He gave me no other sign than Jonah.

So after God had convinced me, then came the next test. This was a real test. The clincher. The part of the test that I was sure I wouldn't pass. I had to ask Adam. (There were now four days until the deposit deadline.) I tried to calm my nerves and cleared my throat. I said something like this, "Adam, there is a Sponsor Tour to Indonesia in February and I have been praying about going. Do you think I could go?" He had known thoughts had been rolling around in my mind about going, but we hadn't really discussed it, mostly because I was sure it was out of the question. With out hesitation (a miracle in itself), he replied. "You work hard around here, you can go." I think trumpets were sounding somewhere!! And I know that it was a God influenced decision, because a month or two later, Adam admitted that his head was not screwed on right when he gave his permission. If he had been in his right mind, he would have said no. Watching our savings account drain down to nothing was torture for him, and yet I remained confident that God would provide. After all, If God had really told me to go, He was going to provide.

So, now I have to take leave because today is Thanksgiving and I need to make a side dish. Tasty-tasty.

I'm Going To...

Breaking radio silence. Going to let the information out. Going public. Ready? Here we go...
It's been hard to contain. Everyone else knows, so why not you too? This coming February I will be joining Compassion International and traveling to Indonesia with them. I sponsor a girl there and will have the awesome opportunity to meet her. She has been praying that I come see her and God has so amazingly been answering her prayers. More information will be given later. In the mean time, keep Indonesia and the area surrounding Mt. Merapi in your prayers. They are having a rough go of it with the volcano. My sponsor child lives two volcanos over from Mt. Merapi. I guess they were having "ash rain" where she lives.