Talents and Dreams and More Trusting

When you don't know what to do, eat ice cream.

I've been thinking about talents the past couple of days. You know, those things that people are good at? There are few things that I feel I am very good at. I might be able to get things done in a decent fashion, but as far as being really good at something, I can only count one or two. Knowing that I'll be needed to earn a supplementary income while being a stay-at-home-mom, starting this coming October, has me thinking about what sort of things I am good at. For the past four years, I have been working for a friend, taking care of and teaching young children. But do I feel that I excel in that area? It's certainly something I can do, but I lack confidence while doing it. Maybe because there are too many more talented individuals that I compare myself too... Or maybe it is because I know my own shortcomings. I am coming around to the thought that, girls and young women, even if their intent is to get married and raise a family, should develop talents. The things she finds herself drawn toward, be it teaching young children, photography, nursing, sewing, language, writing, or owning her own business, those tendencies should be developed and practiced until she possesses a valuable skill. Having a skill or talent not only adds confidence, but becomes a valuable asset to young mothers trying to supplement the family income while raising their children. So where do I go from here? 26 years old, two little boys (one of them a newborn), on the verge of beginning Kindergarten with Joshua, in a new neighborhood, possibility stretched out on the horizon... If homeschooling doesn't give me enough of a brain cramp when I think about it, I am to figure out how to make about $200 a week from home, starting this fall. I try not to think about it too hard and just trust that God will fill the gap, but sometimes I start scheming and dreaming of doing something I really love and am good at. Like baking pies. That is something I am good at. (Or can I really make $200 a week growing veggies?? Not likely.) But the logistics boggle my mind and having little encouragement from my brave leader, I am already sinking. He is a realist. I am a dreamer. He suggests that I could clean houses one day a week. The thought makes me shudder, and exhausts me. Could I do it? Yes, but not happily. Couldn't I really make an average of $200 a week selling pies at the public market once a week? Then I come back to caring for children. Don't I love kids? Wouldn't it be easiest to find one or two to love during the weekdays? Maybe I had better just keep my feet on the ground, head out of the clouds and continue to do what I've been doing for the past four years, loving little kids... Or is that just a cop-out, because the rest of my dreams seem just out of reach and I am too lazy to try? What are my talents? Where are they hiding? Again, I am trusting God to lead me and guide me into the unknown. May He fill that gap and may I trust him with my dreams, even if my dreams really are to love the children of others' while raising my own.