Sunday, January 30, 2011

Surrender

So my special diet has been working. It's been three months and I have had two "normal" cycles. There is hope for me yet. During prayer tonight at church, I was really feeling like this is something I just need to surrender to the Lord. I have been thinking about babies a LOT lately, especially since in the past two weeks I have learned of four different women who are expecting. Part of me rejoices for them and part of me says "We have been trying for two years now. I think it's my turn!" It's selfish and impatient of me. I just need to surrender and trust that the Lord knows what He is doing. He doesn't want me to be pregnant when I go to Indonesia or when I got my Hep A shot or when I have to take malaria medicine. That would be bad for a baby. But He has it all in His hands. "Lord help me to surrender to You."

Genesis 30:22

6 comments:

Martha said...

I love you, Beth. I can only imagine how hard it must be. Sorry for dumping the news on you like that. I should have been thinking and I guess I wasn't. :(

Rachel said...

Hooray for 2 normal cycles! You're right, God does have it all in his hands, and he loves you. I believe it will happen for you, but I know waiting isn't easy, especially since you know others who are expecting.

Poor Josh kept asking Steven to play today, and Steven just doesn't know how to respond. :\ Steven needed younger siblings...younger than Micheal.

Stephanie said...

Oh Bethy that is just so Great!! I think of you often. It is sooooo hard to wait for Gods timing on things. That is how I feel when other people get to buy a house. I am like God we have been married for almost 4 years and they only just got married, why do they get a house? Then I am reminded again that God only wants his BEST for his children and there must be something really nice out there and I must be patient longer. Aaaaahhh!! I will be thinking of you. Maybe when you get home from your trip.I wouldn't at all be surprised!!

Bethany said...

Mommy, I am very excited about the news and it was just fine for you to "dump" the news upon me! I just want to have news of my own to share too! But I can be patient. Dreaming about it is half the fun. :)

Martha said...

I am waiting to hear you tell me there is another little one on the way for your house. I have been praying for you for many months. when I get the news I will do the happy dance. :)

Ann said...

Don't give up hope Bethany, but don't make it your soul focus. It's hard when those around you are having babies (especially when it seems it comes so easy for them), but remember that there is something special out there waiting for you...even if it's not having more kiddos. Keep your focus on the big picture...you already have a very beautiful family and a wonderful life to be proud of! And of course, if you ever need anything, I'm here for you (been there, done that)! XOXOXO