Thursday, June 23, 2011

How to Realize You Are Just One Person

I know my last post made it seem like I wanted lots more to do, but maybe you need clarification. There is currently a LOT on my plate. I don't really need any more to do. But I do want to make more of a difference. I want the things that I do to impact lives for the better. To spread the Good News farther. To effect. To draw people to Christ, because in the end, He is all that really matters. I want my life to reflect that fact. And is busying myself by doing Bible Club, Compassion events, helping decorate for Vacation Bible School, cooking class at Daycare, and hostessing at the CK really reflecting Christ's love for those around me? Am I really able to be a conduit of His grace and mercy when my mind is occupied with thoughts of painting Western scenes, how to make styrofoam swords for defeating the throes of sin, finding sponsors for 22 needy children across the globe or teaching children how to make chocolate chip cookies? It's 12:30 at night and I can't sleep, probably from drinking coffee at 4:45 pm, but possibly from trying to keep everything straight in my brain. When does a girl possibly have time to keep her house clean, her garden free from weeds, to practice the piano more than twice a week so she doesn't feel like a fool come piano lesson day, work more than three days a week, make sure her family eats supper AND gets time to spend with her, AND read the Bible and pray every day? Thankfully the Lord has given me a little alarm clock named Louis, who scratches at my door at 5:15 every morning and finally I realized it was a call to rise early to read and pray, after it happened consistently for over two weeks. Also thankfully, if I get up that early, spend 30-40 minutes with the Lord, I still have time to go back to sleep before I really need to get up to get ready for work. What does God really want from me? Obedience more than sacrifice... How do I know which is which? What is He calling me to do and what have I just taken on because I wanted to? If I knew how to discern, I could pour myself more fully into what He has truly called me to do.

Okay Lord, what is it YOU would have me to do?


Martha said...

My dear daughter,
You have always had a heart for people and the amazing ability to put a smile on the face of whoever you are ministering to. Whether an elderly nursing home resident or a small child in a foreign country they know and feel your love. This is a gift given to you by God. There is another gift He has given you and that is Adam. He is your head, he is your balance, he is the one who can help you sort through some of your questions. You won't always see the situation from his perspective and sometimes you will vehemently disagree, but He is the one God has given you to help you see what God has determined for your life. Make sure he is your priority and he will gladly point you in God's direction.
I love you.

Bethany said...

Thanks Mom!