Do it Faithfully

3 John 1:5 - Beloved, you do faithfully whatever you do, to the brethren and to strangers...

Can I say that about myself? How can I, if I spread myself so thin? What does the Lord really want me to spend my time doing? Am I able to do that which He has called me to do faithfully? These are questions I am always asking myself. Always evaluating in my mind. How can I get to the place where I know I am in God's will and can truly pour myself into what He has for me? What things, good things, am I involved in that are not His best for me?

Lord, help me to know what you have for me to do. Help me to know when to say "no" and when to say "yes". Help me to do what I do the best way that I can. Help me to serve you faithfully in all that I do, to my family, to my "brethren", and to strangers.

Layed Bare

He's calling me to come closer. To come walk with Him. To partake of solid food. Spend more time with Him. To make Him my priority. I know that I have regressed. I have become self-centered and selfish, and have tainted my Lord's reputation. When did I become this way? When did I start caring less about those who surround me? When did I become a baby in the Lord? He wants me to eat solid food now, real meat. Hebrew 6:1 says, "Therefore, leaving the discussion of the elementary principles of Christ, let us go on to perfection, not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God..." I can put on a good facade and am well practiced at it. I look good from the outside, but more and more has the ugly side been showing itself. It's hard for me to love. It's hard for me to forgive. I bring up the hurts that should've been brushed aside by now. I have problems. I am the problem. I need more Jesus. He is the Potter and I am the clay. Can He really clean out the gnarled, crusty self inside of me? Can He really make me new, once again? Can my heart really look like His? I'm tired of these earthly passions and fading trends. Who really cares if I have the latest look or my house looks like a picture from a magazine? Is that what Jesus wants me to spend my time thinking about? Does not His heart bleed for the sins we have committed? Can He make my heart bleed for those things once again? Can He callus my heart toward earthly satisfactions? Yes, yes He can.

Hebrews 6:11 & 12 "And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence to the full assurance of hope until the end, that you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises."

The Crazy Wheel of Life

I was told that life is like a wheel, with it's ups and downs. Gotta say, this week has been totally like a wheel. I know that God is at work in my life, but I wish He would would just hurry up, cause His work hurts. It's a good thing that He has balanced His work with some wonderful things along with it. Like Jim is in town this week. And my Gramanita is here from Nova Scotia, for the first time since Adam and I got married. And Leta will have a new baby any day (or hour?). So I have been spending a lot of time with my immediate family and at my parent's house visiting with the family. There is a wonderful sense of community when I go home. Something about not being alone, having someone to share burdens with- even if it is help folding laundry, working together and loving together. I am one of seven kids, so I feel most at home surrounded by people. I'm not much for being alone. I guess you might say that it gets a little lonely around my house. Adam goes to work, comes home tired, and goes to bed early. I miss having time spent with each other, whether it is playing a game together, reading together, going for a walk, or sipping tea while sitting on the deck together. I think quiet time spent together is important and healthy in a relationship and when those quiet times don't happen, a relationship can suffer. I think both of us are to blame here. I fill up my evenings with activities that take me out of the home and away from my family. It's not that I don't want to put my family first, it's just that somehow I want to do other important things too. Before I know it, my weeknights are filled with just snippets of time left for those who really matter most. How do I fix it? How do I make sure that Adam and Josh know that they are the most important to me, with the only exception of Jesus Christ? And then how do we make sure that we have enough Glue (Jesus) in our marriage to keep it strong? Take the "Glue" and time spent together out of a marriage and what you have left is a crazy spinning wheel, careening towards the cliff's edge. And that is the story.

Weakness

I cannot believe it is January 9th already. Nine whole days into the new year. That gives me one month and eight days before I leave for Indonesia. Saying it that way makes me nervous...

Lately, I have been feeling like an inadequate housekeeper and wife. It doesn't matter that those titles do not sum up my life or that I have an out of the home job that takes up four days of my week. But when I cannot live up to those particular two titles, it makes me feel pretty... not worthless... but pretty close. Why do I measure my "worth" by what I can keep up with or by how well I am serving my husband, I don't know... Why do I rejoice when my house has finally been cleaned? Why don't I want to go the extra mile to make him happy? Why do I dream of being a stay-at-home Mom, who is crafty and creative and a good decorator? I want to be a praying wife, a devoted wife, a supporting wife, a wife who will give of my time and who always has clean socks and underwear in his drawers come Monday morning.

I have to remind myself that life is not a dream. It is reality. I will forget to do laundry on occasion. I will run out of milk. I will often wake up tired. The cat will get tapeworms. I will find the tapeworms on Sunday, when the vet's office is closed. The house will be messy. The wood stove will often not cooperate and will fill my house with smoke... when Adam is not home. I will clip Molly's nails too short and she will bleed all over my bedroom carpet. I will be late to work. Dinner will not be ready on time. I will lose my Bible. I will not get my husband a Christmas gift until well into January. I will gain ten extra pounds. I will cry. I will forget. I will take too long. I will make mistakes. I may get lost. I will yell when it is not necessary to do so. I will use improper grammar. I will stutter. And yet...

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

This year, may I remember that when I am weak, Christ is strong. When I am unable, He is able. When I cannot walk, Christ will carry me. Lord, may I not seek my own glory, but for You to be glorified. Only then will I truly be satisfied.

Odd Ramblings of Disconcertion

It's been a weird week so far. Not like bizarre or insane, just not like what was expected. To start the week off, the employees from a local factory that provides work for 300+ people went on strike. Everyone knew this was coming, and I fully support the employee's on this one. For a very profitable company to decrease wages, cut future pensions, and lessen health care coverage for it's loyal workers is just wrong. The only reason the company gives for doing so is that other factories in the Rochester area don't get paid as well as their workers do. It's all about increasing their profit margin at the expense of the workers. (Trust me, if these people were getting paid so much, why don't I see any of them living in lake-front homes or driving Hummers?) Two families who bring their kids to the daycare where I work, work at this factory. Put three check marks in the back of your mind. A couple weeks ago, another mother who brings her son to daycare was "laid-off" because she wanted her boss to give her a reference, as she was going to apply for a town job. Put another check mark down. And today, I come to find out that another parent was fired from their job and this was their daughter's last day at daycare. So we are possibly losing five kids, depending on how long the strike goes on for. These are five little people, who represent a big chunk of how my days happen. It's just an odd thing, to watch so many parent's lose their source of income so close together. I am grateful for how the Lord provides for us all, even when times are tough. I am thankful my man has a job, even though he has had to work late almost every night for the past two weeks. I am thankful for the time that God allows me to have with little people during the week. Sometimes they are tiring, loud, naughty, stubborn, disgusting, grumpy, etc., etc. But I have to remember that God has given me a tiny portion of their lives, to be able to love them the way that He would. To hug them, wipe their noses (and their bottoms), to rock them, to discipline them and to teach them numbers and letter sounds... I have to remember to influence them with a godly love, so they will remember.

Thoughts

After working six straight days in a row, I am very much ready for a week off. And that is just what I shall get. *Big smiles* My friend Carissa is coming home for the week and will be working for me at the daycare all next week. I am so ready to catch up on things at home. Though it appears that someone who loves me has straightened up around home today while I was at work. I came home to my bed made, laundry taken to the basement and living room tidied. Even the table was cleared off! What a guy! I think he realized that I needed a little help this week. I am so pleasantly surprised.

I have found that in the past couple weeks, as I have tried to be less controlling, Adam has been more involved in the active disciplining of Josh. I have been less quick to intervene and more hands off when Adam is at home. And my Mom has been proved right, that when the wife steps back, the husband will step in, concerning their children or child. I am really enjoying watching my guys interact with each other... Josh just adores his Daddy and the other day we convinced him to finish eating his supper just by telling him he needed to eat his supper so he could have strong muscles like his Daddy. Adam showed Josh his big muscles and then we encouraged him to eat more. Josh promptly finished his last two bites so he could be strong just like his Daddy.

Thanks again for all your prayers after I posted this. Marriage is a wonderful and hard growing process. And raising children together certainly can put a strain on even *perfect* relationship. We all have our own way of doing things and I know God uses parenting to teach us so much about ourselves. I am a slow learner, but lately it's been a bit easier to "let go and let God". And I know it's due to the prayers and advice of those who care about us. Much love to you all.

Discipline and The Act of It

I think we need help. Our opinions differ sooo much. We have no idea how to discipline a child *together*. We don't agree one bit. And I am ready to give up. Fine. If you don't like how I do it, then you do it. All by yourself. Don't come in and tell me to apologize. I'm not sorry and I think he deserved it. I am tired of being told not to do something right in front of small child. No wonder he cries, "Daddy, daddy!" all the time. No wonder he doesn't care what I say. I think we need to have a series of "consultations" with older, wiser couples who have had years of experience raising and disciplining children. Maybe I am too strict. But if I am, I would like to know how I should be doing it, and still get my child to listen to me, to sit when he is supposed to sit, to be quiet when it is time to be quiet, and to respect me, and those who need to be respected. And I think we need to be able to agree on how to raise this boy. Right now there is still time to get our act together. But we don't have long until he could morph into a monster who knows exactly how to divide and conquer his parents to his benefit. So, yes. I am asking for help. How do we come together as one parental unit and actually begin acting like it?

Wanted:

*letting down my guard*

This is a post about friends. I have a hard time making new friends. I am fine at meeting new people and holding civil conversations and even having casual friendships with people. But I have a hard time getting close to people. I realized this past week that all of my close, buddy-type friends are friends that I have known since before I turned 16. These are the select few I will call most often, that I look for to hang out with, and that I can let down my guard with. It's not that I don't want new friends or feel like I could have a connection with someone I may have met more recently. It's just that I don't know how to go from saying hi at church to inviting someone over to have girls' night or out somewhere fun or really having a heart-to-heart talk. Or is this just part of growing up? Is the time of being "bosom-buddies" just part of childhood and when you grow up, you just can't get as close as you could if you were still kids? Is a close relationship only possible with family and childhood friends? Or is this something that I have to work on? Being more open and vulnerable, putting myself out there and getting out of my comfort zone... Because I think I may need some new buddies. Not that I'm getting rid of any old ones, but when your old friends grow up sometimes they move far away or sometimes they are too busy. Sometimes they see things differently and sometimes they have kids that monopolize their time and energy. What is your take on the issue? I know you may not believe this about me, but I think it is true. I build walls, though unintentionally, and I want to know how I can climb over them. Or is it that when you grow up, and you have a new friend, you don't necessarily need to laugh loud and make crazy faces without feeling incredible stupid about it. But that friendship takes on a more civil tone, being older and more sophisticated... ?

Adios Amigos

Last week I retired from Facebook. It was a tough thing to do. Or rather it IS a tough thing to do. But I felt like the Lord wanted me to cut it out of my life, even if it is only for a time. I'm not sure yet if it is just for a time or if it is a more long term commitment. I must admit, I really love Facebook. It gives me a connection to my family who lives far away (including my brother in MN), helps me stay in touch with people I met while in El Salvador, reconnects me with family friends who have moved out of state and even gives me an instant connection to a girl I sponsor through Compassion. So you can imagine what agony it has been following through with my convictions. But I have found that, because of Facebook, my relationships with my close friends have been floundering. I have become a more shallow friend, apt to drop you a quick line on your Facebook wall, rather than pick up the phone and call or invite you over for supper. I have become a stalker. I have become a lazy housewife. I ignore my duties as keeper of my home. My piles of laundry have become heaps. The dust bunnies have become dust lions. In the evening, I will get on Facebook before I dig into my evening read in the Psalms, leaving me too tired to concentrate by the time I open my Bible. I would rather ignore my husband (even though he is watching TV) and zone into the world of "who's doing what", than snuggle next to him on the couch. So the good has been weighed against the bad. I prefer life before Facebook. Where a phone call was anxiously awaited and a good letter waiting for me in the mailbox wasn't so far and few between. Where people actually talked to each other and got to know each other, rather than just reading bits and snippets of each other's lives. Where my priorities were just a bit closer to lining up where they should be. My tendency to abuse the privilege of the instant connection to the lives of those I love, has brought me to this place. Now I wonder how so and so will keep in touch with me? And how will I be able to hear from this or that person? But I follow the conviction the Lord has placed on my heart, trusting that He really does know what I need. After all, He really does. So good-bye Facebook. Hello blog. Hello housework. Hello family.

Matthew 19:29 And every one that has forsaken houses, or brothers, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, [or Facebook] for my name's sake, shall receive an hundred times, and shall inherit everlasting life.

It's All About The Eyes

I always thought eyes were a pretty important thing to take care of. Apparently, my Pediatricians office didn't feel the same way. Sunday, after church, I noticed Joshua's eyes were oozing with green discharge and very pussy. Every time I would wipe the puss out of his eyes, there would be more within minutes. After his nap, his eyes were so gross. I knew it was pinkeye, but I hadn't ever seen pinkeye that gross before. I determined that I would call the Dr. right away on Monday. Monday, when Josh woke up, his eye lids were beat red and swollen to a size near to that of golf balls. There wasn't near the amount of puss, but any Mother in her right mind would want to take her kid to the Doctor. That's what I thought anyway. When I called the Pediatricians office and told them I thought my son had pinkeye, I was told that they didn't typically see kids with pinkeye and was given a nurse to talk to.The nurse explained that pinkeye was a virus and that I just needed to use hot compresses on his eyes and wait it out. She didn't ask me why I thought it was pinkeye or what his eyes looked, she simply insisted that it was just a virus and I had to wait it out. I told her I worked at a daycare and my employer wouldn't want my son there and would send us home until he had been medicated for 24 hours. The nurse then made it sound like my employer was very unknowledgeable, because it's again "just a virus". Well, I got off the phone and I was quite ticked. I felt feisty and frustrated. I wanted someone to see my son and his doctor's office refused. They had blown off the concerned Mother without asking any questions about his condition. After talking with my own Mother, who echoed my concern about not only Josh's eyes, but also how the nurse neglected to ask any questions detailing his symptoms, I called our neighboring town's medical office. It turns out that they were accepting patients and Josh was able to be seen that afternoon. He was given a prescription for antibiotics and we were sent home feeling much reassured after having seen a professional and having some medicine.

Perhaps I acted too rashly, but I sincerely belive that if a Mother is very concerned about her child and wants him to be seen by his Doctor, that the Doctor should be at least willing to see the child. My sibling's current pediatrician has been quoted saying that a doctor is partly there to reassure the concerned parent. Well, I hadn't been very reassured Monday morning and felt unassured enough to transfer my child to a new doctor. It wasn't that I hadn't thought about it before, since I had. Joshua's original Pediatrician retired last year and was replaced with a young woman who was fresh out of medical school. I had originally wanted someone who was experienced and perhaps a parent themselves (being more likely to sympathize with another parent). Not that a younger doctor is unable to do a good job, but this incident pushed me enough to find someone more experienced and it just so happens that I had wanted Joshua's new doctor to be his Pediatrician when he was born, but she wasn't accepting patients then. So I guess, it all worked out... I still feel a bit badly.

A Long Jumble of Goings-On

What a delicious week it has been. The Friday before Labor Day, we held a family meeting to determine what we were going to do to help my Grandparents, since Grandpa was going on hospice care and was told that they needed someone there 24/7. It was decided that we would all take turns, my Mom, Aunts, and the older cousins. This did put me in a bind though, since I was currently holding two jobs, one at the daycare and also working one day a week at the restaurant. I have for a long time contemplated giving up my weekly hours at the restaurant and being solely backup help. So I had to make the decision. I don't like saying good-byes, but telling myself that I could still go to the restaurant anytime I wanted and that once in a while I would be called on to come in to work, really helped ease my mind. I have worked there for almost 4 1/2 years now, so I have made many friends, mostly old wrinkly folks, and you kinda get attached. But this really opens up my schedule to be able to help my Grandparents and visit them more often. It's amazing how one extra day a week can make you feel so much more at ease.

The daycare where I work reopened on Tuesday, after two weeks vacation. The vacation time couldn't have been more timely, with all that conspired during that time. It was good to be back to work, I guess. The school year has started so our "big kids" have all started Kindergarten and it's strangely quite without them. Josh was glad to see "Lange" again and repeatedly asked to go there on Friday, which is the day I happened to have off last week. He, of course, also asked to go to "Bubba's" house. We had been to at least one Grandparents' house a day for a week straight, so he naturally thought we should go visit again. Who could blame him? I love going to Grandma's house too.

Speaking of going to Grandma's house, that is where we went on Thursday. It was my turn to visit... Weird saying it was "my turn", like we were playing a game or something. I was glad to see Grandpa looking so well and it seems that Grandma had an extra burst of energy. I think she has more motivation, now that Grandpa needs her help. Over the course of the day, I watched Grandpa go from perky, to peakish, back to perky. He slept on and off and had a couple of visitors. I set up Josh's port-a-crib at nap time and while he slept I vacuumed the hard-to-reach spots of Grandma's living room. It was nice to feel useful and it seemed to be a good trade from packing chocolates, which is what I had been doing the previous Thursdays. I am glad to have an extra day now to be able to visit them.

On Saturday, I took Josh to the library. We found a couple puzzles to borrow and I set about trying to locate some materials to help me learn Spanish. To learn Spanish is a goal of mine, ever sicne I went to El Salvador. I typically annoy people with me usage of words, especially if they don't understand me. But I am just a beginner and feel the need to practice my newly learned words once in a while. Anyway, back to the library. I have decided that it is not a fun thing to take a almost-two year old to the library by yourself. Especially since that cataloging system, our library has in place is none-so-helpful. I felt like I wasted a whole bunch of time and annoyed the librarians since it is very hard to watch him nonstop when you are trying to find materials. Next time, I will leave him home. Or maybe I just won't go to the library.

After the library trip, we stopped at our local grocery store. It was a rainy Saturday, late morning and the grocery store was packed. We live in a mostly agricultural area and during the fall season, we see many farm workers come and go. Mostly Hispanic or Hatian. And on this rainy day, the grocery store was a popular destination for many of them. Now, I always have my Spanish tracts (left over from El Salvador) in my purse, for these kinds of reasons, but for some reason, I was feeling a bit nervous and only gave out one. (Stupid me, to miss so many opportunities!) But this young Mexican man wanted to know where the church was. (¿De donde es la Iglesia?) And I had nothing to tell him. I don't know where there is a Spanish speaking church in the area or if there is one, for that matter. But it opened my eyes, to an area of ministry that is completely lacking in our area. Here we have a continual influx of people, who don't speak Spanish, who are here only temporarily for work, but there is no place for them to gather to worship our God. And who is telling these folks about Jesus? And so we may be trying to get our church to translate our service into Spanish or at least have a translator available, if thereis a need. It would have been such a blessing to have been able to tell that man exactly where he could come for church, but God could've just used this to open our eyes to a need. (PS, I don't care if they are illegal, they still need Jesus.)

Ok, so rambling on here. If you've made it this far, kudos to you.Oh, and here are some flowers I bought for myself about a week ago. Aren't they lovely? I think I might just get into the habit of buying myself flowers once in a while. I think it's kind of nice.

Denying Myself (Or Trying...)

Have you ever had great expectations that the Lord was going to do something wonderful in your life and the lives of those you love? That is how I have been feeling lately. I know He has been really working in my heart as of late and revealing to me some of the things that need to change. I have felt a desire to get closer to my Savior and I am realizing how very much I need His help. I am pretty sure that over the last month of my life, that my deep need for Jesus Christ to do a major make-over has been almost constantly in the forefront of my mind. I often am left wondering what my Lord is doing. What does He have for me? How does He want me to serve Him and those He loves? Who would He have me to minister to? Where does He want to take me in my walk with Him? I had a revelation this morning about who He wanted me to minister to. Yes, I already knew it, but sometimes the Lord will show you something again and it just takes on a new light. The Lord knows my heart, and how I would love to go to the foreign missions field and give my all for the poorest of the poor. He knows that is my heart. But for the time being, they are not who He wants me to primarily minister to. He has placed me here, wife to Adam and Mother to Josh. If only I would give my all to minister to them, as if they were the poorest of poor, the lost children, the ones who needed to hear about my Savior. To serve them as I would those people in that third-world country. To deny my own desires, my laziness and tendency to be frustrated with "the lack of help I get around here". Would I complain about those things if those I were serving were the destitute or homeless? No, I would not. So I need to serve these two individuals here, like I would any other. So pray for me as I put into practice this"new found" ministry to those I care about most. It is difficult for me to deny myself on a daily basis, when I am tired, have worked all day, and want to rest. The dishes will need washing and Josh will need to be cared for. My husband will ask me to do things I don't really feel like doing. But to serve them whole-heartedly, denying my fleshly instincts, and to give them my all... It will be hard, but the Lord is faithful and will give me strength (Please Lord!). One day down... So many more in store. I look forward to see what else the Lord will do in my family this up coming year. I wonder what He has in store...

Snippets

I set out this evening to write a very "cranky" post about how things should and shouldn't be done in a home. Each sentence started out like so: "In my plight against humanity..." And it continued on to say how the things that I didn't like wouldn't happen. Like how children would eat their suppers, etc., etc. But I think that would be a very ungodly example of discontentment and irrational behavior. So instead I will post about other things...

Like corn on the cob. Fresh picked and tasty. It crunches when you bite it and pops in your mouth, like a mini explosion of goodness.

Or maybe I will post about garage sales. I have plenty of things to put in a garage sale and have been collecting my things to sell all week. My brother and sister-in-law are having a sale this weekend and I am going to contribute to the amount of items they have in their driveway. Perhaps you can stop by their house this weekend and buy our stuff. It would be great and very kind of y0u. Then we wouldn't have to put it away again after the sale.

Possibly I will post about how I am fasting from facebook. I would tell you how terribly I want to get on and see what is going on in the world of facebook friends. Who is commenting on what and who has posted new photos. Has anyone sent me any messages or written on my wall... It's a terrible addiction really, and typically I waste a lot of time on there. But I so want to look...

Maybe I will tell you about the pie I baked this evening. I smell its delicious scent wafting through the house. Rhubarb and blueberry... I know, I've never heard of it either. But that is what I made. No, I cannot give you the recipe, as I didn't follow one. And yes, ask me how it was later and I will be sure to tell you. I hope we have enough vanilla ice cream.

But unfortunatley for all of you, I really don't have much to blog about today. So you will have to wait to hear about all those wonderful things. I have laundry to fold, sometime before bedtime, seeing as it is piled up on top of my bed. I should read the next two chapters in Isaiah... And I also need to investigate the ice cream status before the hour gets too late. So I will have to leave you all hanging, waiting till the next blogging opportunity arises in this little house of mine. In the mean time, God bless you & Dios de bendiga. (I have to get in my Spanish words while I can, you know... Practice makes perfect and I would like to someday be fluent... Another thing I could've blogged about.)

A Post About Josh

Josh. What more can I say? He is rapidly approaching his 21st month and the fun has officially begun. For instance, I left the room for all of ten seconds (literally) yesterday, only to come back and find that Josh had snatched a permanent marker from the counter and had scribbled over all but two of my lower kitchen cupboards. So thankful am I for the internet. Such a handy resource it is in these occasions. Turns out that a bit of scrubbing with a toothbrush and toothpaste removes most, if not all, of those pesky permanent marker scribbles. I am also thankful that our cabinets are the cheaper low-end cabinets, because the finish looks a little faded from all that toothbrush scrubbing. I would be more displeased if the cabinets were cherry or walnut, ya know?

Words. In abundance. Every day it seems there is a new one. I must be careful to season my speech with salt and not use words like stupid in his presence. I like when Josh talks about one of my siblings and uses their name. He has a name for each of them, I think.

Jim= Jin
Dave= ? (We must not spend enough time with Uncle Dave.)
Joe= Noe, though just last week it was Nose
Nate= Neet
Ben= Ben (He's good at that one.)
Hannah= Nanna
Adam's brother Andy= Nanny
And of course all grandparents are referred to as Bubba.

Pottying has gone slow this week, but there have been days in the past where Josh has stayed dry till lunch time or has peed 5+ times during the day. But he seems to have weeks where he wants to go on the potty and weeks where he does not. I have heard similar things about other children and since Josh is not yet two, I'm not worried about it. (Though diapers are pretty $$, and next time around I may invest in cloth diapers.)

All in all, I still am loving being a mom, though at times it is difficult to keep up with all that being a Mom and housewife entails, along with working 3-4 days a week. I do enjoy both of my jobs, but it is just too much for one girl to handle. It's hard for me to keep up with everything. Which is why I only blog 1-2 times a week, or less. Though look for me again tomorrow, because I want to post about what I will be doing for the next 10 days. :)

Who's My Idol?

I think it's ridiculous that I feel so excited. And maybe I won't admit why I am excited, it's so embarrassing (and worldly to boot). But American Idol is starting today. Ew. I can't believe I just wrote that. Gross, that I like that show so much. Why? What makes it so fun to watch? Maybe it's because all those contestants are just real people, no different that you or I, except that they can sing. They come from little towns or big cities, grow up with zits and awkward idiosyncrasies. Some are proud and boastful and others are humble and bashful. Some love Jesus and others sing in bars. But anyway, the two hour premier is this evening, so I'm pretty syched. Isn't that dumb? To be looking forward to a stupid TV show? It has no relevance when it comes to eternity. God doesn't care whether you got to be "America's Idol" or not. He only cares about whether or not you believed on the LORD Jesus Christ. Whether you have accepted Him as your Savior and asked him to cleanse you from your sins. That's what really matters tonight. Not this stupid TV show that we will so faithfully watch for the next three+ months. So go live for Jesus, not for Simon.

Thoughts After A Busy Week

It is ten o'clock at night, Veterans Day. I sit sipping my grape juice while I type. My husband is gone to his late night hockey game and won't be home until at least midnight. The house is basically quiet, with the exception of an occasional murmuring from my son, who fell asleep at 7, only to wake an hour later. I finally find time to record the happenings of the past week. But can I recall anything worth sharing? The days were packed. My mind was racing.There were so many things to do and so much to think about. An election, political discussions and thoughts of scripture kept my mind occupied, while preparations for my sister-in-law's baby shower kept my body racing. There were cookies to bake, cupcakes to frost and last minute shopping to be done. There were friends to persuade, convictions to defend and truths to be made known. One busy week is over and another has already begun. My time at home is filled with things that need my attention. Laundry, dishes, sweeping, vacuuming, chasing Joshua... And what do I seem to be forgetting? Oh yes, the bathroom. And it has obviously been forgotten. Perhaps it will get cleaned tomorrow. I am considering, and praying about, cutting something out of my schedule. I am not sure if I can, though. This particular something is very important to me. Well, it's not actually the something. It's the someones who go along with it. I have mixed feelings. I feel that it is somewhere the Lord wants me. And sometimes like maybe the time He has had me there is drawing to a close. But I'm not ready yet. There is still work that needs to be done. It is like my little mission field, and I have yet to see any fruit from my labor. I know, I have not labored hard enough, but I want to redeem my lost time. You know how God sprinkles His children throughout the Earth and each of us has our own little group of people that we are to reach out to? I feel that I cannot cut this something out until there is someone else who can fill my spot. I guess, all I really know, is that somethings gotta give in this busy schedule of mine, and I don't want to sacrifice my home and family to the hectic life style I am currently leading. But I don't want to make any rash decisions, especially without taking the time to look to the Lord and really seek Him about His desire for our lives. He knows my every need and how I should, or shouldn't be spending my time. It's great that I can go to Him when I need answers. He is my faithful God and gives me strength in my weakness. Amen. :)